You know that part in the movie when they explained all the characters’ histories and what connected them to each other and how everything happened the way it did and what this cyber reality was and why it was so crucial to the real world? I wanted to hear all of it. But no. The audio got all wonky at that part and for five minutes or so, I was left to my own devices to make up what...
Weather is such an asshole.
Me: Yeah, I'm just meeting up with a friend tonight. Think we're going to grab a bite to eat, watch a movie, and see what else there is to do after that. What about you?
Weather: I'm just going to make it -15 degrees Celsius tonight, but it will feel like -18 or colder because of factors like dewpoint, wind, and humidity. Oh, and have fun walking on the icy pavement.
Me: Out of curiousity, does being an asshole ever get old for you?
Weather: Nahh. Just wait until summer. I'm going to make it so humid that you'll have to swim to work.
There is never enough time except for when there...
Erika, I’m adding elephants to this!– Mom while making dinner. I guessed she meant eggplants. I was right.
I keep seeing these in EVERYTHING today. In things that are not actual autostereograms. Like in the stickers that came with this calendar: Can you see it too?
That was weird. I like those shoes, but not enough to do three posts back to back.
The fuck is this? A) Ghost B) Mini invisible tornado C) Black magic D) Place where gravity and/or magnetism is screwy E) Sign that I should GTFO Probably answer “E.” Edit: My friend proposed that, “It’s Hermione dancing at the Yule Ball.” Suddenly this doesn’t seem so menacing.
A digga... A digga... A digga digga...
A diggity… Diggity diggity DIGGITY DIGGTY A-DAHLEEETED!
All the men of faith and men of science had their questions. Could it ever be...– Local Natives
Watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 has simulated that experience for me. Once the finale comes around, I’ll have post-coital suicidium.
No, not tonight. There are more pressing matters...
I sent myself an email titled: earth is PISSED.
There was nothing written in the body of the email. I still have no idea what I was on about.
Did I ever tell you that I miss you? I did? Well here it is again.
You guys seem pretty cool. Let’s be friends.
Yeah I’m afraid of sharks, but not the dark.– CocoRosie
3 heaping teaspoons.
That’s all the instant coffee I need for a strong cup hit of caffeine. Currently, I am drinking 8 heaping teaspoons. I would not recommend this. The school usually has small teaspoons you can use to mix your coffee, hot chocolate, or powdered tea. Unfortunately on this particular morning, they were all used up, so I got my small container of instant coffee and poured it directly into my...
timblr.: Bros Want to Fight Me →
timwilkinson: For the 2nd time in about 6 weeks I’ve had some guy try to fight me for whatever bro-motivated reason he might have. I went out to Lucky Bar with some pallies and went to get some pizza afterwords. While waiting for a cab, a bro, whilst walking past me, comments: “Hey look, its Harry Potter (lol)!” Obviously he had spent his entire evening crafting up this delectable gem...
Dear Movie Spies
atsween: When installing a covert listening device, why do you always use one with a BLINKING RED LIGHT? DON’T ACT LIKE YOU CAN’T SEE IT. IT’S RIGHT THERE. BLINKING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT “COVERT” MEANS? IF NOT, I CAN LOOK IT UP FOR YOU. I HAVE A DICTIONARY RIGHT HERE. DON’T BE EMBARRASSED. I HAVE TO LOOK UP LOTS OF WORDS. Right??
Three and a half months in,
And I’m just starting to take the orientation course for this job. This was not unlike the time when they asked me to fill out the application form for the interview a month after hiring me.
Don't worry we'll just blow up the dungeon with...
Time may heal all wounds,
But sometimes life isn’t long enough to recover. And that’s why, you have to buckle up and stop being a pussy.
The Data Liberation Front.
Awesome band name. Too bad it’s the name of Google’s latest doohickey :/.
Kevin: We got a bunch of stuff for your school loan in the mail today. I scanned them and sent them to you. Read these.
Me: Y I has to b adult? -Hate. I feel it.
Kevin: Hold on. That's not all. Here are pages 1-12.
Me: LOL srsly? -Fck this I'm going to Neverland.