Nothing good comes from being up this late Pt. IV.
1:07 AM: I’m missing Hard Haunted Mansion, my friends are partying it up all over the place, including, but not limited to, Vegas, and I get the feeling I’m going to end up doing nothing for Halloween. Also, where are the sandwiches. There are no sandwiches.
There's texture, and then there's obnoxious.
Me: A lot of guys here wear high contrast acid wash jeans. Before, I didn't mind it so much, but now I see it EVERYWHERE. Whenever I see guys wearing it, it makes me want to kick them in the crotch.
Kevin: There wouldn't be anything there to kick except maybe a mangina.
Me: Stop stealing the opinions in my head.
Let's get so fucking rich.
Please email responsibly.
Me: I'm hungry.
-Hungry hungry hippo
Kevin: I'm tired.
Me: No you can't do that. You have to sign off with a clever nickname.
-I'm a fox. Get it? Because I'm clever?
-You're an idiot
I was going through a weird/hard time.
For some reason, the title of this post has always been a disclaimer (read: lame excuse and justification) I’d tack on before summarizing a certain period of my life to someone else. The funny thing is, there was never anything in the stories I’d tell that would warrant that kind of disclaimer. It was always this superfluous thing that I’d attach to everything; a cop-out, if...
Beeping is a close second, though.
Me: Is there any sound in the universe that is more vulgar and obnoxious than the beep of an alarm clock?
Elaine: The quacking of a duck alarm clock.
Nothing good comes from being up this late Pt....
2:32 AM: I’m hungry, and there are no sandwiches within arm’s reach.
Eh, eh, edit.
Does anyone else do the post-edit-update-edit-update-edit-post dance?
Shit just got real.
Dear broke ass college graduate, GIMME MY MONEY, BITCH! Have a great day. Sincerely, Your school loan companies
Learning that I spent my entire life thinking that a certain dorky invention that involves two wheels, gyroscope technology, and helmets was the way to spell the word “segue.”
My netbook! :D
My netbook crashed,
And I had withdrawal symptoms that rival the withdrawals that crack addicts experience. My netbook crashed while I was listening to music and checking my email. It froze, and the song I was listening to got stuck on a loop for about 20 seconds. If I were a DJ, that loop would have been awesome. Unfortunately, this particular loop was not a sick beat. This loop was a harbinger; it was a sign...
Is anyone violently opposed to listening to...
If you said yes, the following are possible explanations as to why: A) Your parents didn’t love you. B) You’ve DEFINITELY killed a puppy before. C) You were bullied when you were a kid. D) You don’t believe in joy, love, and magic. Hooray for unfounded accusations and logical fallacies! That being said, who wants to say yes? Anyone? Anyone?
This post is a downer.
Just giving you guys a heads up in the title. If you were having a crap day and don’t want to be more sad, or if you were having a great day that you don’t want tinged with sadness, don’t read this. For reals. Today, the staff invited me to join them for a department luncheon. As we sat together, chatting and eating, they brought up a story of a girl who recently committed...
If you live alone, you should have naked dance...
Please don’t dismiss this as nothing more than an ostentatious, reaction provoking, your-mom-your-face-that’s-what-she-said type of statement. I genuinely believe everyone should start doing this. Try it, and then try saying it isn’t the best thing ever.